We had this comment made the other night in our private FB group.
This guy posted about how stressful being Pro Se was, that he felt so overwhelmed, that everyone bullied him and made fun of him…but lo and behold…upon talking to a lawyer (and throwing 5-figures at him) he felt magically better.
Oooohhh – it pissed me off for a variety of reasons.
- Your lawyer will tell you exactly what you want to hear. He’s a salesman. “Oh don’t worry Billy – this is all ridiculous and you’re clearly Dad of the Year. Just cut me a fat check and I’ll make all this go away!” I’ll let you guys how often it all actually goes away.
- Some people learn piano. Some people learn calculus. Why can’t you learn the law? I’m no lawyer, but I’ve got a pretty damn good grasp on what I’m doing here and can provide similar feedback and thoughts regarding your case as a lawyer would. Quit whining about how hard this process is – because IT IS. It’s really freaking hard. So suck it up, bury your nose in law books, hire me to help if you wish, or post to our FB group. You’ll get the information you need.
- Will you be bullied? Absolutely. Made fun of? Constantly. Quit crying about it. Expect it. Everyone from the District Clerk to the opposing counsel to the judge him/herself will pick on you. Oh well. Exercise your rights. Stand up for yourself. Fight through their dismissals of you. Take their body blows and come back for more. DON’T QUIT. Suck it up.
- I will tell you having personally represented myself in almost 100 hearings, and having helped clients through hundreds more…you will PROBABLY end up exactly where you would have ended up with or without a lawyer. If you leverage the tools available to you as Pro Se (zero cost) and exercise those options intelligently and with proper strategy, you will push your case just as far, if not further, than you would with a lawyer. 100%. No question. Be SMART.
- Lastly, it was a stupid comment to make. It would be like coming to a BBQ grilling group and then ranting about your pro-vegan views. They’ll toss you. Know your audience
Is being Pro Se hard to do? Yes. I’d be lying if I told you otherwise. Know what else it is? Rewarding. Empowering. Hope filled.
It’s a hard journey, but if you think intelligently and execute as you should, there are countless tools available to you. If you lose one day, you file something new the next. You push through the objections, the obstacles and the struggles. You fight for YOUR kids. You keep your money to fight another day.
And, if you don’t give up on yourself, you will find some semblance of the justice you seek.